Reasons I'll fail at adulthood

1. I can't cook. I can make cake, brownies, and muffins from the box. Grilled cheese and macaroni and cheese I can do. Microwave popcorn? I'm an expert. But when it comes to making actual meals, I'm lost. How am I going to make meals for myself every day that actually sound good to eat? The only thing I'm good at making from scratch is vanilla icing, and I don't think that's the Healthy Living way to go. I'd better learn fast, or I'll be stuck with packs of jell-o and canned soup as my fancy meal of the week.
2. I don't want to live alone or with anyone. I can't stand an empty house. The creaking of the floorboards or the furnace kicking on makes my imagination run wild. Pretty soon I'm convinced that there is a serial killer waiting in my bedroom to cut out my still-beating heart...thump thump, thump thump. I'd become known to my neighbors as the crazy lady who goes around her house mumbling chants and shaking a strand of garlic. But living with others is out, too. I like my things organized my way. My schedule my way. My alone time my way. If I had someone else around, not only would they annoy me, but I would annoy them. We would need a label-maker and a dividing line across the ground to keep the peace.
3. Work = not fun. Self-explanatory. Having to go to the same building, see the same people, and do the same thing for approximately forty years of my life doesn't sound like a fiesta. How depressing.

Something to read about growing up. Is it not as easy as it used to be? (I wouldn't know, but the article poses the question).