Mark Your Calendars

Well, I looked and there are two things we should be celebrating today:

• A Room of One's Own Day, and
• The Anniversary of the Macintosh Computer (the Apple)

Why would you want to care about these holidays? First of all, it gives you an excuse to spend time alone in your room, away from everyday stresses. Not to mention you can sit down and enjoy your iMac (or even go buy one, if you feel so inclined). And by reading those two, seemingly-pointless holidays, you realize that there is a holiday for essentially every day of the year. Don't believe me? Check it out.

I never knew there was so much to be celebrated! Did you know that on February 20th, the Northern Hemisphere celebrates Hoodie-Hoo Day? At noon, you are supposed to go outside, wave your hands over your head and yell "Hoodie-Hoo!" to scare away winter and make spring come faster. August 25th is Kiss and Make-Up Day (what better reason for quarrelling couples to stop their quarreling than a nationally-recognized holiday?). October 14th is Be Bald and Be Free Day, a good incentive for those who are still afraid to shed the toupee.

All of these holidays are ridiculous. The days are copyrighted and the whole shebang. Who came up with them? Do you have to petition to get a national/global holiday? And if so, who decided which ones got to be made "real"? Do people get paid to make these up? If there's a career opportunity in the holiday-making department, I want a job.