Making Bread

That's right. Today I decided to roll up my sleeves, face my fears, and have an attempt at baking. I decided to look online for a bread recipe. I had two requirements: first, that our kitchen contained all of the necessary ingredients; and two, that it was simple. I suppose a third key was that it had to taste good (but I just had to gage that one off of reviews others had given the bread).

It took a little bit of looking, but I finally found this recipe. Five-star light oat bread (it's supposed to look like that picture). And the directions just said add everything to a bread machine and you'd be set to go. Well, I didn't have a bread machine, but how difficult could it be, really?

I found a lady's comment explaining how to make the bread without a bread machine. I mixed the dry ingredients in one, the wet in another, and combined them. Simple, no?

Well, it got tough with the kneading. First, the bread was REALLY sticky, and even though I floured the counter and the bread and my hands, it got stuck everywhere. I had to scrape it off and wash my hands so that I could start again. The second time around I added so much flour that.....well, I'm not sure how it will turn out. But still, it kept getting sticky, and because I didn't want to add too much flour, I stopped kneading only after about four minutes (five to eight is recommended, or until the dough is elastic-like....mine wasn't really).

So then the directions said to let the dough rise. I know, I know, for all of those who can cook, this stuff seems pretty obvious, but I wasn't sure- do I let it rise in the fridge? sitting out? covered? left open to the fresh kitchen air? I first decided just to set it out covered in plastic wrap. After I had done the dishes, I remembered that my mom covers hers with a towel. So I did that.

Now it's just sitting there, under the cloth. It doesn't look like it's risen at all (probably from the lack of kneading). But I hope it rises a bit, because then I get to punch it back down! Who knows. I'll try to update you later, after I've baked it, to tell you how it turns out.

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The bread barely rose at all, but it did get a little bigger when we baked it. It's really dense...almost like a rock. But it's a really good tasting rock. I recommend the recipe, even if you can't get the thing to puff up! Seriously, if I can do it, there's no doubt that you can, too.

Visiting the Cousins

This weekend my family drove up to Minnesota to visit my cousins (mom's side). I absolutely love going there. They live out of the way, sort of in the country. I swear we drove past more farmland trying to get to their house than we pass in Iowa. And when we get there, our cell phones are in roam, neighbors are a good hundred feet away from one another, and town is about a fifteen minute drive away. The partial isolation is kind of nice.

I know it's not said as much these days, but I really do love my family. Sure, here and there we had a temper tantrum from the four-year-old and some insensitive comments from the eighth-grader, but who said families are perfect? Besides, I'm pretty sure the eighth-grader was more juiced up on his newly-acquired testosterone than anything else. Being with them, I can see their growth and learn new things (I didn't know Polish sausage was venison, or that vacuum salesmen could be so relentless).

What did we do? Aside from a day of shopping (in which I got some wardrobe updates, like these shoes), we spent a lot of time around the house. We played Frisbee in their cornfield (with this kind. It goes so far! We had to climb over the wire fence on the property line to go fetch it once, and another time had to climb a tree), swung dangerously on their tire swing, and were introduced to their four outdoor cats (Mittens and Lilly being my favorites). I would go on, but I suppose you know the typical family stuff: sitting and talking, etc. The last thing of note was play chess and watch "Get Smart", a movie that I had forgotten how much I enjoyed. My favorite clip is posted below.

All things must end, and it's nice to be back home. Visiting family is great, but we would probably be under each others' skin had we stayed longer. Our trip was short and sweet. The perfect kind.

Happy First Day of Spring!

The Perils of the Telephone

When your phone works the way it's supposed to, you don't notice. But when the phone goes wrong, it's an ugly, ugly day. The worst things about the telephone:

1. The fax: Have you ever had a fax get the wrong number and they end up calling your home phone? If you pick up, you get the soothing "BEEP! BEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP!" coming from their end. It's like the machine's trying to send you some top secret message in identical-sounding beeps. So what do you do? Annoyed, you hang up the phone. No less than a minute later, your phone rings again! You pick it up and, suprise! It's the machine again (probably miffed that you didn't listen the first time). Angry this time, you slam the phone down. When the phone rings for the third time, you resolve not to pick up the phone: show that fax who's boss. But you forgot about voicemail, didn't you? "Hey we're not here right now, but if you leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks!" "BEEP! BEEEP! BEEEEP!" Ahhhhh! You can't take it anymore! WHY ARE THEY STILL CALLING YOU? Didn't they notice that the people that were supposed to receive the message ten minutes ago still haven't gotten it? There's really no (logical and reasonable) escape from The Great and Scary Fax.


2. People with caller-id: (I have caller-id, myself, but for argument's sake....) Just who do they think they are? "I get to choose whether or not I think you are important enough for me to answer the phone." No, you should not get to choose who is important enough for to talk to you. You should have to interact with people whether you like it or not- isn't that what life is about? There is not always a choice. And besides, I don't like wondering whether people really aren't home, or if they see my name come up and decide I am not worth their time. Want someone to blame? Dr. Kazuo Hashimoto invented the first prototype.


3. Caller-id failure: On the flip side, for those of us with caller-id, we want it to work. We didn't buy the service so that "UNKNOWN" or "OUT OF AREA," pops up on our screen. Calls were unknown before we got caller-id. It was annoying, so we got caller-id. So I expect the phone to cough up who's on the other end. Nevertheless UNKNOWN makes us curious. "Oooh, unknown. Maybe it's a top-secret line, the FBI, or a serial killer concealing his number." Or could it just be one of those annoying political adds. Or a fax.
   


4. Complicated office phones: Have you ever tried to use one? Impossible. For God's sake, you just wanted to make a call! But now you're stuck: do you have to dial nine? Press line one? Two? Press private or mute? Wrap yourself in the telephone cord? WHAT will make your call go through?! Answering is even worse. Should you answer it? What if it's not for you? Do you have to press those line numbers again? How do you transfer a call? If you accidentally hang up on the caller, will you get fired? Why couldn't it have just been one of those phones that has twelve buttons: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,*,0, and #? Go ahead and get in the fetal position. I'll wait.
   


5. The Internet sound: Nearly extinct nowadays. But not five years earlier, remember? You picked up the phone to dial a friend, put it up to your ear to listen for a dial tone, and got blasted with "SHHHHHHHH!rrrrEEEErrrrrrEEEErrrrrWOOOSHHHHHH!!!!!" Then you had to go find whoever was online and argue with them over who's needs were more important. Then, after a show-down between the two of you, IF you won, you could finally make your call. Only to get the busy signal on their end: their family was online, too. Luckily this one has gone out of style as dial-up becomes unpopular, but I doubt we will forget those days (and I know you need stories to tell your grandchildren someday......."When I was a whipper-snapper, you had to make a choice: the internet or the phone..." That'll get 'em really riled up). Some things were just too horrific to repress.
   

Can YOU rap in Hebrew?

Me neither, but these guys can! It is a combination group: Subliminal (Kobi Shimoni) & The Shadow (HaTzhal). Their album (right), The Light and The Shadow, frequently covers Israeli-Arab conflicts (so says this site, because I can't translate their lyrics myself). The song is called Tikva (Hope).

Subliminal & The Shadow - Tikva (Hope) [Eng & Heb. Subtitled].

Sweet, sweet justice

Don't you just love it when people get what they deserve? I do, too. So if you haven't seen any of these yet, make it a point to.

1. Shawshank Redemption: Accountant Andy Dufresne is sent to jail for supposedly killing his wife and her lover. Once in jail, he faces hardened criminals, cruel guards, and a corrupt warden. He does meet one close friend, Ellis Boyd "Red" Redding, whose narrations are sprinkled throughout the movie. Andy faces many less-than-amusing situations: being beaten by the Shawshank State Prison's top gang, being refused a retrial despite a new testimony (the person to give the testimony is.....disposed of by the Prison; on purpose, mind you), and being forced to balance the warden's dishonest books. I won't say the end, but just know that it will make you want to point at the screen and say "Ha!" to all the people who thought they had gotten the best of him.
2. Dexter: This Showtime series doesn't have your average plot. Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter specialist who works for the Miami police department, also happens to be a serial killer. Who does he kill? Why, killers, of course! He channels his own killing urges on....well, people that "deserve" it. The show demonstrates his struggles to appear normal, uncover his mysterious past (he remembers little from his life before adoption at a young age), and to solve a peculiar case in which the killer is trying to connect with Dexter, personally. It's gripping, amusing, and you find yourself wondering how you could possibly be connecting with such a dark yet lovable character.
3. The Count of Monte Cristo: The movie portrayal of Alexandre Dumas's book is themed: "Don't get mad, get even. Well, ok, do both, but just don't forget that second part." The story begins in France with best friends: Edmond Dantes and Fernand. Fernand, however, is jealous of Dantes: his luck, his woman (Mercedes), and his happiness despite his poverty. His plan? Set Dantes up (with the help of an angry shipmate of Dantes and Villefort- a magistrate who wants Dantes in jail to prevent him from spilling the beans that Villefort's father is a supporter of Napoleon). Sending Dantes to a brutal prison, he remains there for 13 years until he manages to escape. And when he does, he has one thing in mind: ruin the lives of those that ruined mine. The movie has made revenge never seem so meticulous, so planned, so sweet.

Now go watch one and feel that sense of satisfaction. Did I miss any? Let me know.

Please Pass the Salt and the Socially-Acceptable Behavior.

My family is going over to our neighbors' house for dinner tonight. We haven't been over to someone's like this in about a year (we're not antisocial or anything...i don't think...it's just that the opportunity never comes up). I hope my proper social behavior hasn't gone rusty. Potential problems I see:

• Soo......: I won't be able to think of anything to talk about. "How's life next door? See any creepers around?" probably isn't the best conversation-starter. As I sit here and brainstorm, though, there is actually a lot we can catch up on: The wife (what should I call her? The woman? The girl? The female next-door-neighbor?) is pregnant, and I'm not sure how far along she is. Have they thought of names? Do they know if it's a boy or a girl? I can take that card and run with it. At least until my parents jump in.
• Meat? MEAT?!?: This poses more of a dilemma than an opportunity for a neighbor throw-down. I am Catholic. It is the Lenten season. Today is Friday. Friday = no meat during Lent. What are they serving? Meatballs. We're not those people that force our religion on other people-"I reject this sinful food you have prepared. Go back and make something else." We'll eat it and have a nice time (wouldn't it be worse to push the plate away? I think so). I just like picturing what that scene would be like.
• Life story- unabridged or edited?: I know that neighbors are always curious about each other. But how much do they really want to know? How much should be told? I don't want to end up telling them every allergen that makes me break out into a rash, but I don't come off as revealing as a Top-Secret FBI agent. Where is the balance?

I'll just have to see how it goes. Hopefully I won't insult them enough to make them kick us out of their home and move away. That would go under a "that didn't go so well" category. Yet I remain optimistic: I have resolved that I will act socially acceptable and will have a good time, and what more can I really hope for?

It couldn't go this bad.

Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno)

If you have not seen this movie, you need to.

Tell me what I'm like, because I have no idea.

That wasn't really a question that I intended for you readers to answer about me. I probably don't want to know what you think, anyway. NOT because you don't have valid, accurate ideas (so don't close out of this window in offense). On the contrary, you are all geniuses and would end up revealing too much about me for my ego to handle (or accept). So answer it if you want, but know that I had no intention of you doing so; it was just a title.

This week in my psychology class we have been studying personality. And what would a personality lesson be without a personality test? So we filled out a questionnaire, giving 4's to the word most and 1's to the words least like us (giving 3's and 2's to the two words in between).

For example:

I am:................................. logical...............practical..............idealistic................creative

I value: ............................fairness..............tradition..........personal growth..........pleasure

I am annoyed by:.............. illogical people.......messy people.........rude people........negative people

I have a lot of: .................. natural wit.........commonsense..............love..................energy

For me, I am most logical, then practical, then creative, and least idealistic. So my scoring goes as follows: logical=4, practical=3, creative=2, idealistic=1. Got it? Good, now take the extremely shortened version above(ours had 23 questions).

What do your scores mean? Add up the columns. If you have the most in the:

1st column: Surprise! You are considered rational.

2nd column: Ta-dah! You are considered organized.

3rd column: Yay! You are considered loving.

4th column: Hoo-rah! You are considered energized.

What's the next step? Hypothetically, you would receive a packet that explained what type of person you were.

When I read mine, I was so happy to find how well the rational description described me. It said, among other things, that I was "typically calm and clear headed," I have "high performance standards," and am "meticulous and exacting." It was speaking directly to me, and it was eerily accurate (well, except for a few things, like I don't "speak in theoretical and complex terms...[and] talk over the heads of others." I don't think I could do that if I tried).

But really, why should that surprise us? We took the test. We gave our answers. Of course these "revealing" paragraphs about our personality are going to describe us!

Did you do the test above? Why? Did you not know what you were like? Of course you know your personality- you know if you prefer big or small groups, physical or cognitive connections, clear-cut rules or absolute freedom. Still, we jump at the chance to fill out yet another questionnaire.

Perhaps it is not so that we can describe ourselves, but so that we can understand others. Isn't it easier to say, "Oh, the test said I was rational person," than, "The test says I am content being alone, dislike being controlled by my feelings, and am often thought of as a perfectionist"? If someone said the latter, we would see them as too self-disclosing (I just met you, and I didn't want to know all of your inner struggles, thank you very much.....I'm just going to go.....somewhere......yeah........). With the first answer, it gives a small glimpse at others, while revealing ourselves in a more acceptable fashion.

Personally, I LOVE taking these tests (is test the right word? there's no right answer, after all). True, I know what I'm like, but that's not the point. These tests give you the chance to see how you compare to others. Are you similar? Polar opposites? As humans, all of us need connection with others at some time or another. Being able to share our "personalities" with one another, we may so happen to find someone else who loves to be antisocial in a corner just as much as we do.