Roxanne, Dead Body. Dead Body, Roxanne.

Yesterday was my fifth time ever seeing a dead body. It was the first time that it was not for a funeral. I went with a group of students to a cadaver viewing at a nearby college. Not going to lie- I was kind of nervous. I had been excited for the entire week, but as the date grew closer, I began to wonder: Would I find it disturbing? How old would the person....body....be? Would I pass out? I didn't know. I mean, this had been an actual human being. And I understand they donated their body to science willingly, but I find it weird to think they used to breathe, talk, laugh, love, and have a family.

We got there, and who did I discover was our guide? Why, the super-cool brain lady who had talked to our biology class earlier this year! Not only was she super-funny, but she knew what she was talking about. And she warned us properly before we got into the room: "Now, there's a certain......disturbance factor that occurs when people first see a cadaver. You tend to stiffen up and lock your knees. And what happens then? All the blood goes to your feet. So if I see any of you being statues, I'm going to make you move around or do a dance!" She proceeded to dance.

We went in and she pulled back the moist towels covering the body (the cadaver must be kept wet to remain preserved). Honestly? It wasn't too bad. The room had its own ventilation system that circulated the air constantly, keeping the possible stench down. Thankfully, the face of the body was covered, relieving us of the discomfort of feeling a more human connection. Plus, it turned out that the body was of a 95 year old male- so no sadness about a life cut short.

The brain lady took off the sternum, revealing the inner cavity of the body. But something seemed to be missing in the upper region. "Oh! The heart and lungs aren't in here right now because they dry out so quickly. Let's see, where did I put them.....?" She rummaged around the room (I mean, they're so easy to misplace), finally locating the organs and placing them in the chest so we could see what a complete body looked like. We looked at the organs, with the heart in particular. It turned out that for this man, his heart was enlarged to try to compensate for weaker pumps, probably due to old age. She also told us that he had had bypass surgery and showed us the leg artery that they had removed and placed on the heart to redirect blood. How did they get to his heart? He had staples in his sternum where they had cut him open.

After that, we got to put on gloves ourselves and "explore."
Heart: cut in half so we could see inside
Lungs: very spongy and squishy
Liver: big
Gallbladder: green (I guess because of the bile it makes and holds)
Kidney: smaller than I thought (a little smaller than the size of my fist)
Aorta: SO long! I thought this main artery only came out of the heart for a few inches. Who knew it was about a foot long?
Brain and spinal cord: These were cut out, and they were so cool
Small and large intestine: Actually, they looked a lot like they do in the textbooks

There's more, yes, but I don't want to bore you. I did feel a little light-headed at times, but I didn't know if that was because of the body or just the temperature of the room (with ten people in there it got a little toasty). We asked the brain lady if it was uncomfortable for her to deal with so many cadavers. She said, "Not really. I like to think of this as their last wish, and if this is what they wanted then we should learn as much as we can." It was a good perspective.

Did the day make me want to go into a career with cadavers (like medical, etc.)? I don't think so. Despite her enthusiasm, I don't think I could handle death so eloquently as the brain lady. Seeing corpses day after day would not make me the person I want to be, but I would like to do another tour or something like it in the future. In a way, seeing death puts your life in perspective for you (that didn't sound cliche or anything). And would I donate my body to science? To have people pick it apart and stare at my liver? I remain undecided, but it doesn't sound like such a bad idea. Give me a few years to think about that one.

Want to donate your body to science? Visit a local university to receive a registration packet.

"Spaceman" by the Killers

Well, his outfit's a little weird, but that doesn't stop me from liking this song.

The Return of the Writer's Block

I knew it wouldn't leave me forever. Unfortunately for me, this means I can't think of anything to tell you about (coherently, at least). Unfortunately for you, you have to put up with it. But really, I won't be offended if you choose not to read anymore of this, because it will be rather random.

I went to church today at 9am to help set up for a Confirmation retreat that I would be helping out with until 5. I didn't know what to expect, but lately I have really enjoyed church and decided that volunteering would do me some good. After all of the team leaders met and got a brief rundown of the day, we headed over from the hall we were set up in to the actual church. And oh my God, there were so many people there for Palm Sunday (the week before Easter). I couldn't believe my eyes- there wasn't even enough room for everybody to sit down. Very cool.

The retreat? Well, it was what I expected in that the kids (mostly about freshman age) weren't that enthused. And I have to admit, I was the same way when I was getting confirmed. But sitting there, learning the lessons again, made me appreciate it so much more. I even got to give a brief, random, totally unprepared talk about faith in my life. It was pretty bad, but it was honest- I hope the candidates took at least something positive from it.

Why do some people so readily try to disprove religion? Is it such a horrible thing to believe in something? In someone? Why is it always "there's no proof God exists" and not, "there's no proof God doesn't exist"? I understand that there is the want for things to be 'scientifically proven,' but it must also be understood that for some, such proof is not necessary. And there is nothing wrong with either route of thought. For Pete's sake, yes, challenge each others' ideas; it is a good way to strengthen your own. But at the end of the day, accept that people will think what they want to. And that is okay.

Security Clearance

It should not be this difficult. That's all I can say.

Dear God

Here I am, at the All-City Music Contest. I managed to sneak away to the computer lab to do something productive with my time while I sit and wait for my last group to go.

There was too much to do today:

Brass Quintet: meh

Horn Quartet: oh my (the bad type of 'oh my')

Horn Duet: not too shabby

Horn Solo: AHHHHH!! Let's just say I never came in and we'll call it even, okay, judge?

Brass Choir: TBA, but probably boring.

It's boring just talking about these things. I'm going to stop now before I put any of you to sleep. But I just wanted YOU, my precious readers, to know that I was thinking of YOU while I was here in this mini musical hell.

The Security Guard and the Engineer

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in the lobby of an office building, waiting for the woman I was supposed to talk to. An old man sat at the security desk, his blue uniform pressed and comb-over hair perfectly in position. He looked at me with a kind smile and said, "Would you like me to call her for you?" I said yes, and he did. We then sat in silence.

It was around 5:00; the time when many engineers decide to call it quits for the day. Each murmured a "Have a nice night" or a "Take it easy" to the old man as they left. He told them to do the same.

Then, an older woman walked in. Her black hair was obviously dyed, and she her makeup was a bit excessive (with the thick mascara and pencilled-on eyebrows), but it suited her well. The security guard saw her and smiled.

"Are you headed out?" he asked

"Yeah, it's about that time." She glanced out the window at the rain. "Oh, drat! I thought it was going to be snowing out. Now I'm going to get all wet. But I might have an umbrella in here somewhere....." She began rummaging through her purse.

The old man laughed. After a few moments, the woman found her desired object. "Ah ha! Here it is!"

The guard grinned as he looked at it and said, "That's looks like a baby umbrella." It was one of those that can compressed, making it look very tiny. "But if it does the job, then why not, huh?"

The engineer woman laughed. "As long as it keeps my hair dry, I'm happy. See you tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay, you take care now." He watched the old woman as she left, a smile still on his face even after she was gone.

Now if that isn't cute, I don't know what is.

Stick Me!

Yeah, that's right. I saved three lives aka gave blood yesterday.

Was I nervous? That's up for interpretation. I went to the drive at my previously scheduled time at 8:15, filled out the necessary forms (no, I'm not being forced by the mafia to give blood; no, I haven't sold my services for money; no, I didn't travel to Africa and get AIDS), and got in line. I felt fine- perhaps a little anxious. But no hyperventilation, because I had given blood before.

Correction, I have tried. Over the summer my church had a blood drive, and so I went. Long story short, it was not a success. They poked one arm and got some blood, but then the flow stopped. They tried to make it go again by twisting and adjusting the needle in my arm, but no luck; they had to take it out. But I was a trooper! "Do you want us to try the other arm?" they asked. "Sure!" I replied. I had already been stuck once, why not twice? Still, same problem. But I thought they would still tell me my blood type, at least. But no; I left the drive without the warm feelings of giving back and with long bruises up and down my arms. Though I did get some cookies out of the deal.

Yesterday, I vowed for things to be different. I drank an ungodly amount of water the day before to pump up my veins and avoided sick people like they were the plague. But when the woman took my blood pressure, iron levels, and pulse rate, my pulse was too high. "Hmm..your pulse is a little high, so we'll just take it again when you go and sit down in your chair." My thoughts: 'WHAT?! No. My pulse cannot be too high. I HAVE to calm down right now or else I can't give blood. CALM DOWN!' Needless to say, that didn't help. I had to come back later to give it another go.

When I came back and got back in line, March of the Penguins was playing. The blood drive nurses told me that they had had too many high pulses that day. What better way to calm people down than watching waddling penguins with the narration of Morgan Freeman? And it worked- my pulse was under 100 beats per minute!

To finish briefly, they stuck me, said I had weird, squiggly veins, and that my flow was really slow. But it kept flowing! I managed to fill up the whole blood bag without passing out, ate a cookie (despite my Lenten resolution, but I didn't want to die or anything so decided God would understand), and went back to class.

Yay for giving blood! If you haven't YOU should give it a shot. Are you eligible? Check it out.